Woohoo Walter and I are legal to drive in Thailand. Why you ask would we get a drivers license if we have a driver? Discounts of course - being true Thai license holders we now get major discounts when we go to all the tourist attractions OH and of course the real reason is because we need to rent a car when back in the states this summer.
Ha! Yep good old Michigan revoked our drivers licenses because we don't own a house any more. Still getting in state tuition at MSU and we do pay hefty MI taxes but we don't own a house so no legal drivers license. Panic started to set in when we realized that we have a 6 week (4 weeks for big Papa most of which he'll work) vacation in the good ol USA and need to rent a car but without a drivers license that's a no go.
After a little research I find we can rent a car with a foreign DL and our international DL. Makes me laugh that we are US citizens but need a Thai drivers license to rent a car in our own country. I throw up my hands at that explanation.
After asking around to several people about obtaining a Thai license we figure out there are several steps involved.
Day 1
1st stop Medical clearance form - ok do we go to the hospital and get a physical, most of my friends say NO don't go there find a doc in the box. Driving down the road we pass DR Ben, looks good. We stop get out and walk in. The sign says certified "American dr" speaks good English. Perfect. Meet the lady at the counter tell her we need a medical certificate for a drivers license and she asks if we are color blind. Walter and I look at each other and say no. She says good can I please have your passports. She proceeds to fill out the medical forms. 5 minutes and 200baht ($6) later we are on our way with medical form in hands. The form says we are in perfect physical health so we must be. 😉
Who knows who Dr Ben is never saw him but I bet he's a good "American dr" ;) I would like to see his US certificate. Lol! I wonder what he's hiding from in seedy Pattaya?
2nd stop passport photos - I think this country makes money on Passport photos. For everything you need a little 1"x1" photo. These places are everywhere. You never know when your going to need a passport or visa. They make them everywhere. Hence the word make. Pattaya is one of the #1 places to get a fake passport in the world. Hey we have to be proud of something here. Lol! The 2 guys that were on that missing fight out of Malaysia got their fake passports here in Pattaya.
Photos done 135 baht ($4)
3rd stop Immigration office - (middle of Jomtien Beach - hey you might come here and find your Thai wife on the beach and need to get her a visa or passport every beach needs an immigration office lol). Fill out our forms make sure we have all photo copies we need. We are getting a residence certificate. This will prove to the DL office that we really live here and are not just tourist looking for a free DL. This place is crazy. People everywhere. Luckily our little dude behind his desk is by himself. He just does residence certificates. He looks over all our paperwork and oops we are missing a photo copy of our lease. He takes all our forms and directs Walter outside to the many little shops that just so happen to have copy machines. It is a major business for these people. I think they ask for so many copies of stuff so that their family who is running the copy machine shop makes some cash. If things were electronic we would put all these people out of jobs. Democracy at its finest! We get our copy, get handed a number and wait. Mind you all this has been done with not a word of English spoken. Lots of head bobbing.
2 Proof of residence certificates in hand 600 baht ($20).
Day 2
Drivers License center 7:40am - Some advice we were given - dress nice and be super smiley and overly nice. Huh! Makes no sense but we follow all advice. Arrive early the place gets crowded. We arrive 20 minutes early and stand around outside with all the Thais and occasional farangs (foreigners). 8am we all stand up the Kings anthem plays and we begin to line up outside the entrance. A man comes out speaking Thai and everyone starts shuffling into place. Unsure of where Walter and I are suppose to go we just follow the other farangs hoping for the right line. We guessed right. Only about 20 of us in line. We must have all been dressed nice and smiled a lot because they let us go in first. We go in first to get a number.
Number is called we go up stairs. Oops another missed thing not copied out of the 14 things we need to have photo copied (we are in Thailand nothing is electronic) Walter runs outside to the little shops along this building to make photocopies. Hey these family members have to make a living too. Hahaha
Sitting with our little green number we see all the people with green numbers get up. We do too. We get in line. The man puts us in number order. As we get to the front of the line we can see the man using a pointer pointing to different colors on a board. Walter worries he doesn't know the colors in Thai. My turn, with rapid fire he points to colors all over the board. I just yell out colors red, blue, red, yellow by the time I say a color he has moved on to the next plus the colors are so worn that the inside of the circles are now white from all the pointing with the pointer. He points me to the wall. I passed. Walter follows and he passes.
Next we are all lined up against the walls in this cubicle. There is a plastic chair in front of a box on the floor with wires coming out of it hooked up to this old 1960s TV looking thing against the wall. One by one we sit in the chair and push the pedal like things on this box on the floor. We push what is supposed to be the gas pedal until the green light on the TV looking box lights up and then when the red light on the TV looking thing lights up we have to push the other pedal which is supposed to be the brake. If the dotted light on the TV looking thing stops before the red light then we pass.
Thank goodness we passed. I am seriously not making this up. It was humorous and if only I could have taken a picture of this place and Walters face. Hilarious! Now we know why Thais can't drive because they get tested on a wooden box.
Before going into this several people had given us advice on what to do and say. I have many friends that failed having no idea why or they aren't even given the chance but told they have to take a 2 hour test. Some even told us that sometimes you have to sing. Sing??? Seriously.
After passing our "stomp on a box driving test" and color test we are given another number card. We sit and wait. Finally announced - American Mr Walter. I'm like Walt that's you. He gets up walks over he says something to the guy and I'm waved over. I go up. We are both extra smiley and very agreeable.
(A little back ground - April is the beginning of the Thai New Year everyone wears Hawaiian shirts and very happy it is a huge celebration here - even at the drivers license center they are in very colorful floral shirts - they are about to have a weeks vacation all Thais are very happy this time of year ). This man is very smiley he asks me to sing American Pie. What??? Really?? I begin to sing. I have come this far in getting my license if you want to hear my awful, cats will run up a tree voice you got it! Hey I have to be able to drive in America. I begin to sing American Pie. Yep get through 3 lines and he starts laughing. In English he begins to tell me he is kidding and loves 70 music, the Bee Gees, Andy Gibb and the Carpenters are his favorite. Walter is just in giggles, laughing at me. The man hands us our next forms and we go sit down again.
2.5 hours and 410 baht ($12) later we walk out with our Thai drivers license.
Walter and I all smiled out and feel like we need a drink! Lol
2 days, 1345 baht ($41 / $20.50 each) and 1 song we have Thai drivers license and can rent a car in the US.
Later:
These 2 days Khun Biayoon has been driving us place to place and trying to help us with the language and whatever we need to get our license. That night as we are getting into the car he asks why we got our license. Walter tries to explain about discount in Thailand that explanation doesn't go well. Poor KB doesn't know what that means and try telling a guy who makes roughly $4 an hour that a big white American guy is looking for discounts. He just doesnt get it. As Walter is trying to explain some more Khun Biayoon asks about his job in jeopardy. This entire time KB thought we were getting a license so we could fire him. Oh NO I will never fire him. If you ever see the way they drive in Pattaya, well you wouldn't drive either. But we now will save about 200 baht getting into attractions and rent a car in the US!
If only I could have taken pictures.
Life truly does not ever get boring here!
Cheers from the other side
😘 M
